Biloxxxi's Woodshed

Regardless of what you may think, telling a person about your colonoscopy will not garner any laughs. However, if I tell another person about your colonoscopy, hilarity ensues. Thusly, we begin…

About a 5 minute walk (as the crow flies) from the historic Clermont Lounge in Atlanta is my carriage house, The Narnia Harem. Narnia because it’s hidden and you have to believe in it to find it, and Harem because, well, why else would you call something a harem? Because of its central location and proximity to the bars, it has become a good gathering point among my friends for pre-gaming and the like. A few weeks back, we were all sitting around on the porch drinking cold adult beverages with a few new acquaintances, when this particularly outspoken girl proceeds to tell us about her colonoscopy. Awkward silence. Take a long look at that last sentence. This girl was 30 and had the straight-up gumption to think we wanted to hear about her forays into the oncological arts.

Let’s explore why this just isn’t anything other than sad and disturbing:
First of all, she’s 30. It’s pretty generally accepted that you don’t really need to get a colonoscopy until you’re about 60 or so. You’re in a vastly different social world then when things like colonoscopies and gum-scrapings and stress tests are par for the course and topics for discussion amongst friends. Hopefully, at that age you’re not out parading about in Atlanta looking for a random hookup. If your subject matter is the ins and outs of colonoscopies, I’m not your target audience.
Secondly, she provided absolutely no context or reason for said colonoscopy. Just “I got a colonoscopy the other day.” Any sort of attempt at humor without context is doomed to failure, and medical procedures very rarely stand on their own in the humor department. Compare the following two statements and decide which is more intriguing: “I got a colonoscopy last week.” or “My brother had this weird intestinal thing and now has a kevlar patch in his stomach.” See there? The first kinda makes you throw up a little in your mouth and the second peaks your interest.
Lastly, we didn’t even know this girl. She was a friend of a friend. Is this really the best way to introduce yourself to the crowd? Evidently small talk has grown up…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009 at 5:24 pm and is filed under The Adventures. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.