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    The Whole Milk Diet: Day Eleven and That Tornado Sound

    2011 - 05.26

    Today’s Weight: 127

    I’m still here and I’m still chuggin the milk. I’ve been really busy the past few days and just haven’t felt much like blogging. I was hungover as shit on Saturday, cause me and Amy went all “Hank and Audrey” on Friday night, plus I was playing golf Saturday afternoon, so I didn’t get the whole half gallon down. Then Tuesday, I had to make an emergency drive down to Gainesville, FL  and back  for work(a nice 700 mile romp) and I wasn’t about to drink a half gallon of milk on the highway. I’ve made up for it though, so no harm no foul. There was a pretty hot girl running the desk at the doctor’s office I had to do some work at and I thought about seeing if she wanted to squire me about town that night, but I thought better of it once I remembered it was Gainesville, FL. Honestly, what was she gonna show me? Where Tim Tebow parked his car before practice? Maybe where they let the rainwater gather to harvest the mosquitos? I digress…

    As you can see, I’ve gained 4 pounds, so that’s really a plus. I’ve been continuing to work out and I haven’t really changed the rest of my diet all that much. It took a few days to really adjust to all that dairy, but everything’s going swimmingly now.

    I wish I had something more entertaining to write about, diet wise, but I don’t. I’m gaining some weight and I feel pretty good. Mission is in the process of being accomplished.

    In other, wildly unrelated, news, there was a big thunderstorm today while I was leaving work. It wasn’t raining particularly hard, but the wind was blowing like a [insert whorish metaphor here]. It was one of those moments you’re very familiar with if you’ve ever spent any time in a trailer park. The sky is darker than night under a frying pan and the rain stops and it’s just you and the wind and then, BAM! Your neighbor’s doublewide is gone and you’re on the evening news talking about how it sounded like a freight train. The people in Joplin, MO know what that feels like.

    It’s a weird thing explaining the tornado feeling to those who aren’t familiar, particularly those outside the South. It’s like, “So there’s this big thunderstorm , then things get still and then they get really unstill and the next thing you know there’s a half-mile wide swath cut through your town.” Not at all eloquent, but that’s the best way I can describe my scrapes with tornado-dom. Nothing at all like those folks out in Missouri and the folks in ‘Bama earlier this year. God bless those folks.

    Anyway, my point was that while I was sitting at the traffic light waiting to turn out of the office this evening, it gotta sorta like that. Right about the time the light turned for us to turn left, the wind picked up and ripped a tree next to the road right out of the ground. I mean just snatched it out and laid it on the road. It wasn’t a particularly large tree, but I bet it’d do some significant damage to your car if it fell on it. The woman in the car in front of me was so eat up with, “Holy shit! Did you just see that!?!” she didn’t even bother to move through the entirety of the light. I begrudged her this and didn’t honk the horn because it was pretty scary/cool.

    I made it home more or less unscathed. So no worries. I’m headed up to the lake this weekend or plenty of cooking out and Coors’ Light drinking, but don’t worry, I’ll still pack my milk. See y’all on Monday!

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    The Whole Milk Diet: Day Four

    2011 - 05.19

    Today’s Weight: 125.2

    Today was a good day. My digestive system seems like it’s starting to get used to such a large amount of milk. I didn’t feel nearly as bloated and really didn’t have to put a whole lot of effort into the drinking the milk. There were no ridiculous trips to the bathroom other than having to pee about 27,000 times. I weighed the same amount as yesterday, but that’s to be expected somewhat, as I’m in my weight fluctuation range of 5 lbs. or so.

    I ate a pretty light breakfast of corn flakes in the cafeteria at work, so I was pretty hungry when I got to lunch. I’d bought one of those Lean Cuisine steamer things since I’ve had some good ones in the past at my parents’ house. This one was “sweet and savory barbecue” or something like that, and quite frankly, it tasted like Fancy Feast catfood mixed with reheated rice. I choked down as much of that as I could and grabbed a big chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria for dessert.

    After work, I went to meet up with my bro and some friends to skateboard. I still hadn’t had a really good meal all day so I was swung by Taco Bell and got some Tacos. This is where I can tell a difference with this Whole Milk Diet. Normally even if I was pretty hungry, I wouldn’t finish all my tacos. I sorta just get tired of eating. Not today. I finished them all up and I swung by QuikTrip on the way home and grabbed a bratwurst. Even as I sit here  writing this I could probably go for something else to eat.

    Working out is also going well. I’ve gotten through all the soreness and I’m starting to see some results. I’ll stress again that I’m not doing anything really ridiculous, just pushups, situps, curls, shrugs, and dips. I guess “toning” sort of exercises.

    I think this weekend will really be an indicator of how this diet is going. I typically eat out more on the weekends, so we’ll see how my appetite is affected. Stay tuned.

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    The Whole Milk Diet: Day Three

    2011 - 05.19

    Today’s Weight: 125.2 lbs.

    Well, today went a lot better. I gained some weight, although I’m within the everyday range that your body fluctuates. I took the half-gallon to work today and that’s definitely the way to go.

    I got to work and drank my usual cup of coffee. After that, I poured up some milk with my sausage biscuit. I drank some more at lunch and then knocked out the rest in the afternoon. I didn’t even have to drink any at home.

    I did my workout and then met up with Buda to go grab some beers. Really the only two things I’ve noticed thus far are that the milk intake doesn’t seem to be lessening an appetite my appetite. I anything, it’s increasing it, which is good. The second thing I’ve noticed that I poop a lot. Maybe that has something to do with the ridiculous number of Coors’ Light I drank yesterday at the Braves game and the pork sandwich I had at Moe’s n Joe’s afterwards. But nonetheless, I had to talk to the lord more than once. We’ll see if that keeps up.

    All in all, I feel better about the experiment today. What doth tomorrow hold?

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    The Whole Milk Diet: Day Two

    2011 - 05.17

    I didn’t weigh myself today because I took the day off to go to the Braves game. I slept in this morning then woke up and ate a couple of microwave sausage biscuits and washed down with a glass of milk. That’s all the milk I drank till about 9:00 PM. Me and Bill put down some beers at the game and then went to Moe’s n Joe’s and ate dinner and washed it down with some more. So here I am playing catchup.

    Drinking this amount of whole milk everyday is NO LAUGHING MATTER!!! We should have some good results tomorrow, but for now I’m having to just power through.

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    The Whole Milk Diet: Day One

    2011 - 05.16

    Initial Weight: 123 Pounds

    First off, I’m surprised by how little I weighed. Last time I checked at my folks’ house, I weighed 135. Maybe it’s the janky scale at work, who knows? In either case, I’ll be using the same scale (the one at work) each time so it doesn’t really matter.

    I got a later start on the quest than I would have liked. I had to run by the grocery store after work to get milk, so I wasn’t able to drink any throughout the day as I had planned. As I sit here now watching the Braves game, I’ve already knocked out two pint glasses worth with two to go before bed time and I’ve gotten a light workout in. I’m not foreseeing any problems with actually drinking this quantity of milk everyday. I think where any problems will arise will be in the digestive area. That’s a lot of dairy to put back, but hopefully it’ll put some weight on me. If something goes horribly wrong in my innards, I’ll cut back to a gallon every three days.

    The First Jug


    Publix Whole Milk

    UPDATE: I’m through the third pint glass and I just finished dinner. I’m quite full, but I cleaned my plate. It’ll be interesting to see how this affects my appetite. Onward to glass four…


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