I’m a narrow ass. I always have been. It looks pretty cool when you’re in a rock band and you’re skinny as hell. Everybody thinks you’re supposed to be on drugs, so I had the added benefit of being able cut out the middle man and look like I was on drugs without actually doing any. But here I am, closing in on my late 20′s and I’m still a narrow ass. I’m beginning to get tired of it. I’ve been trying to work out more and get into better shape, but there’s just not much to shape here. Given that, I’ve decided that I’m creating my own diet to pack some meat on my bones. So without any further ado, I introduce to you the WHOLE MILK DIET!!!!
Essentially, my goal is to drink a half gallon of whole milk everyday for a month and see what it does to me. I will chronicle the process here in Biloxxxi’s Woodshed. I hope to update it daily, but if not, at least 3-4 times a week.
A cup of whole milk has 24% of the recommended daily value of saturated fat. There are 8 cups of milk in a half gallon jug. Do the math on that. I’ll be taking in twice my recommended allotment of Saturated Fat. That oughta put some meat on my bones.
As far as working out goes, I’ll be doing some strength training combined with a little bit of shorter distance running. Normally I’d forgo running altogether, but the 4th of July Fun Run is coming up at Lake Burton and my mission is to beat Squalls by 10 minutes this year. I’m going to try to keep the amount of calorie burning to a minimum, I just want to have the endurance to knock out a couple of miles at a pretty good clip.
I don’t really plan to change much of the rest of my diet. I’ll still eat the same garbage I do now, I’ll just wash them down with whole milk. QT hot dogs and whole milk. Hot Pockets and whole milk. Cap’n Morgan’s and whole milk. You get the idea. Follow along as I either gain weight or become lactose intolerant while trying.
