I used to do a monthly top 25 for the high school newspaper back in my salad days. I did it again when I was in college for a friend’s radio show. They were always well received. I’ll continue the tradition here, except in top 10 format because I don’t have a month between editions.
Ok, I guess this is more like a bottom 10, but whatever.
Biloxxxi’s Top 10 Least Favorite People Ever
10. The lead singer of Rascall Flats – Evidently this guy’s name is Gary LeVox. I cringe everytime I hear his voice. It’s the most whiny, snivvely voice I’ve ever heard, plus it’s got that ridiculously phony country twinge to it. Don’t believe me? Watch this cover of “Life is a Highway.”
9. Anyone who has sported a Faux-Hawk since David Beckham – The good thing about being the first to do something is that even if it’s stupid, at least you’re being original. Do you know what they call copying someone else’s stupid idea? Mental Illness. I had long hair until yesterday. I cut it short for the summertime because of the heat. I can now sport a faux-hawk, but since I’m not a fan of mental illness, I refrain.
8. Nancy Pelosi – This is my major problem with California. I can’t associate myself with people that would vote for this spawn of Satan. I think somebody might have slept with her one time too, because somehow she managed to get 5 kids. I don’t know, maybe spawns of Satan are asexual.
7. Jon & Kate Gosselin – I dated a girl last year that watched this show, otherwise I’d have no clue of its existence. Within 5 minutes of watching this show, I knew exactly how this would turn out. Kate was a bitch and Jon was just defeated. Note to women: if you rely on breaking a man’s will to keep him around, he’ll only stay that way for so long. He’ll either commit suicide or wander. That being said, Jon is just as guilty for ruining his children’s lives as she is, and that’s the worst part of it all.
6. Angelina Jolie – Am I the only person that thinks she’s just not that hot? Brad Pitt was way better off with Jennifer Anniston. Besides, I hate actresses or actors that use their fame as a platform to show off their idiocy. I can’t really remember a good acting role she ever played either.
5. Chubby kids in skinny jeans – Skinny jeans are a bad idea even just sitting on the rack. Combine that with a kid who plays a bit too much Xbox 360 and we’ve got ourselves the perfect recipe for a gallon of bad idea. There are two prerequisites for wearing skinny jeans; the first is legs and the second is that you be skinny. It’s all right there in the name, Chief. Now run off back to the big boy section.
4. Kanye West – “Voice of a generation” my ass. He’s not original, he’s just loud. He’s a bastard conglomeration of Andre 3000, Duckie from Pretty in Pink and Terrell Owens’ ego finished off with Joe Biden’s propensity to say exactly the wrong thing. It took South Park to show to him that he actually was a D-bag. Spot on, boys. Worse yet, there are people out there that actually believe he invented those louvered sunglasses…
3. Celine Dion – The good news is, she’s mostly irrelevant these days. The bad news is everytime I go to the dentist, it’s like they’re playing her greatest (3) hits on repeat. This is further compounded by the fact that I have shitty teeth so I’ve gotta go a lot more often than twice a year. She haunts my dreams. Just in case you haven’t had a decent nightmare in awhile, here’s this…
2. Bono – See Angelina Jolie above, but change “acting” to “music.”
1. Perez Hilton – Ok, up until about a month ago, I had no idea who Perez Hilton was. Then along came that Miss California nonsense. Rule 1: Never ask someone what they think if you don’t want to hear what they have to say. Kudos to her for speaking her mind, especially in an arena like that. Rule 2. Never call someone a “faggot” to their face and expect to walk away unscathed. Freedom of speech is one thing, but should you choose to invoke it, understand that some words are freer than others and from time to you’ll be espousing through bloody lips. Being a little bitch is not a redeeming quality, regardless of your sexual orientation.
Who really pisses you off? Feel free to comment.