Neither Here Nor There

It’s been almost a month since I last posted, but this has been bothering me a for a long, long time.  It seems that with all the mobile technology surrounding us today, many people have thrown out any consideration the folks around them.  So, here are some general common sense rules to keep in mind while keeping in touch.

It is rude and inconsiderate to take personal calls on your cell phone while in the presence of family members, friends, significant others and spouses, co-workers, or even casual aquaintances.  Certainly, you may excuse yourself from a group of friends for a short call, just like when we all still used land lines, but it is absolutely unforgivable in the case of a date or any similar situation to sit and run your mouth on the phone while ignoring the person who is actually in front of you.  And if you both find yourselves doing it, you should probably excuse yourselves from the phone long enough to say your goodbyes and move on; it’s obvious the night isn’t going anywhere.

Texting is even worse in one-on-one situations, but not quite as bad in social situations.  By keeping your conversation quiet while in a group of people, you’re actually showing the group some consideration by not having to wander off to talk to an absent member.  However, it tells your date that you’re so extremely bored with them that it doesn’t even take an actual conversation with someone else to distract you.

In the car — if it’s even legal to use your phone in the car where you are — it’s one thing to use  your phone when you’re alone, but you definitely want to refrain from gabbing while you have company with you.  If it’s that important, maybe you have the wrong person or people in your car.

Of course, emergencies and business matters are exempt from these social graces.  Business matters, though still rude to handle in the presence of people who aren’t involved, are accepted as a necessary evil.

Social Networking

Social networking really follows the same rules.  If you don’t text or talk in the presence of company (of any sort), why would you check personal emails, profile/wall comments, private or instant messages, or anything else you may have set up on your favorite social website?

Of course, computers introduce all sorts of exempt situations.  How many times have you checked your personal information to share something with someone else in the room?  How many times have you and a friend sat around watching videos online?

Get the idea?  If you’re including the folks who are physically present, the rules change.  If you are excluding them, the answer is NO.  Wait until you’re on your own time before tuning in and dropping out.

In Public Places

Nobody wants to know your personal business, so if you must phone it in at the supermarket, don’t air it all over aisles 5-10.

When checking out at the register, it is very important to be able to pay attention to what’s going on around you.  Also, this takes us back to being rude to the people around you.  The situation at the cash register is about as intimate as things normally get at the store.  You are in direct contact with another individual, who is ringing up your merchandise and asking for your money.

At the movies and certain restaurants, the answer is NO.  Don’t use your phone or computer.  At the coffee shop or burger joint, you’re good to go, but nicer establishments are definitely off limits.

It’s good to be connected.  Hyper-connectivity has made the business world much more efficient.  It has even helped restore many relationships for many people — with old friends, old flames, distant relatives, and who knows how many other relationships have been revived through texting and social networking.  However, it has the potential to disconnect us from the physical world around us, including our real-world relationships, if misused.

When I moved to Norcross, GA, a few years ago, it was with Dollar Tree.  I transferred to a store up there that needed an assistant manager who would actually work.  Unfortunately, I was only there for a week (after being with the company for 3 years at the time).  Needless to say, I had to find a job.  I discovered quickly that few employers in the metro-Atlanta area took paper applications or talked to applicants in person (some not even for the interview).

The inability to speak to a real person or shake hands — in other words, the inability to use charm to influence someone’s decision — was one of my motivations to move back to Middle Georgia.  At the time, very few employers in the area used internet applications.  It was still common practice to want to meet applicants face-to-face at different points in the process — when they pick up the application, when they turn it in, when they follow up in person, and for the interview.  Only really big companies, like Wal Mart and GEICO, used computer applications.  Wal-Mart, Kroger, and other companies like them, had computers set up in their stores where applicants could come in and fill out the applications in front of staff, still fulfilling the first stage of applicant screening (remember, meeting them when they pick up and turn in the application).

Oh, how things have changed.

In the course of just a few years, paper applications have all but disappeared.  There are still a few places that use them, but most companies are using the internet now, and many of them do not have computer access in-store for their applicants.  I’m not going to address all of my concerns about changing the focus of this kind of applicant pre-screening (they can’t turn in applications if they don’t have internet access?) except to say that it’s more than a little bothersome.

Applicants today must rely on their ability to snow employers over with resumes, cover letters, and what they get to say  in their online job applications.  This hurts people like me, people who rely on meeting the employer face-to-face and charming them, because many of these applications do not reveal the location (and some, not even the name) of the business.  For many employers, on the other hand, this can be a good thing.  Employers no longer have to waste their time with random people off the street hassling them for work the way the homeless may hassle people for money.  Who really has the time to meet that many people who are not spending their money in  your store?  I mean, really.

Something tells me we’re missing the point here.  It seems that we’re continuing to use technology to further separate ourselves from each other.  We’re allowing ourselves to be convinced we don’t have time to meet new people on a daily basis.  If you’re in customer service, this idea of no-time-to-meet-folks represents a conflict of interest.  If you don’t have time for people, you’r juste not doing something right.

Face to Face

A district manager at a clothing store recently told me he screened the applicants for his managers before reading the applications because sometimes people who look good on paper didn’t turn out to be the right person for the job once they showed up in person.  He also said that some people who did not look good on paper turned out to be good at the job.  (Unfortunately for me, he was really hung up on the fact that my last job was not in retail.)

This goes beyond looking for jobs.  This involves a much bigger issue, and that is our disconnection from our neighbors and from the real world as a whole, through the use of technology.

–The D